Receiving

Around my birthday each year I get frustrated because I begin reflecting on my life and how I wanted to be at a certain place in life by this point.  I’m not referring to physical things really, but mainly within myself.  So as I turned 30 I began thinking of how I’d really like to begin handling things differently. Through this (and cleaning out our house) I was reminded of a message by Jack Taylor  I have on Receiving and as I’m typing this I realize how much I probably should listen to it again and not just recall what in it.  It’s about receiving your partner whole-heartedly. At the time it hit me most about the need to receive myself.  I was extremely insecure and didn’t like much about myself.  I compensated by (and still do) trying to work hard at things to validate myself to others.  He speaks of how God received(s) Adam and Eve and me. He does this by embracing and loving even the imperfections in us (and Jack Taylor communicates this in such a better way than I can, so you should listen to it).  It was through this and Philip Yancey’s What’s So Amazing About Grace that I began to extend grace to myself.  I’ve got lots of issues as I’m sure many of us do and I’ve tried to embrace them, work through them, and/or dodge around them as much as possible.  I’m not saying I do a wonderful job at this but I have a whole lot more inner peace at the end of the day than before. 

I’ve been thinking of this because this summer has been a stressful one for us.  It seems everything we touch goes bad at least with cars and the house.  (Like spend 1,000 on a/c in my car for it to work a week and spend 900 on Chad’s for it the same thing and more to go wrong a week later)  Fortunately both of our jobs have needed us extra so we’ve been able to work overtime to have the money for all of these repairs. But this also means working around 50 hours a week for me and Chad’s working six or seven days and mainly 12 hour shifts this summer.  So much for only needing childcare three days this summer :-/  .  Well after several weeks of never seeming to have quality time together due to not being home together. Oh yeah, forgot to mention we’re carpooling even though he works 7 a.m. to 7 p.m. and in the complete opposite direction from where I do.   We’ve really only had in the car time which just isn’t grand although we try to make it work.  To say the least it’s been stressful.  And after over two months of this it’s starting to take it’s toll on me.  Last weekend I was cleaning out things yet again and found the Receiving message and although I haven’t listened to it again it’s been on my mind that I should.  I’ve noticed I’m becoming that person whose not really positive towards her husband.  I don’t like it, but I’ve felt stuck. Today we were around a couple that definitely weren’t harmonious working together and tonight I pulled out a book Peacemaking for Families by Ken Sande and opened it to the chapter on marriages.  These were kind of slap in the face convicting to me. So I’m thinking that there needs to be no excuses and I need to get on the ball of receiving Chad and striving to become a more positive person.  I don’t feel as though I’m terrible at gossiping in general or bad mouthing my husband behind his back, but I’m negative in my outlook on life at times.  Not that the last sentence would make sense of connecting it to you, but for me it completely goes together.  So I guess this is a confession of sorts, because I definitely haven’t been a great wife the past few weeks. I’m going to work harder at it because when the stress is gone we’re completely happy and committed to our marriage more than ever before.  It’s just this darn craziness in our life.  We just keep praying that some things will work out but I think it’s time to not use the stress as an excuse or reason or allow it to get to me.  Rather it’s time to acknowledge the stress and still be a positive and loving wife, mother, friend, colleague, office manager, etc. that I should always be because the things of this world truly aren’t worth ruining something great!

 

Deanna

Turning 30

This week (well it was when I started writing this post) I turned 30 and as the months and days have drawn closer, I began to dread it more.  Turning 25 was horrible, so in my head the thought of turning 30 would be much worse.  I took the day off of work because I was at least going to spend it with Chad and Steven and try to enjoy it. I woke up at 6:45 wanting to start the day off right and did a 50 min Zumba workout and by the time Chad and Steven were up was refreshed and ready to enjoy the day.  Because I’m an adult now and need to be mature, responsible, etc., etc.  There’s nothing about 30 that is fun and carefree like your twenties (or so it goes in my head).  Not that I’m not looking forward to enjoying life, but just that it’s a different way of enjoying it. 

At work the day before my boss talked about how much further in life I was than he when he turned 30, he hadn’t bought a house, had any kids, and may have just found a job. It was at that point I realized I wasn’t going to dread the next day. 

Chad’s car overheated two days prior and we had to replace the radiator.  At 8:30 on my birthday we found out it was $840, which was going to bring our total for house and car expenses in the past 10 months to around $8,000.  After a few large gulps, I reflected on how blessed we are because we’ve been in a position to pay that $8,000 without going into debt (at least paying it all by the end of the month charged, which counts in my book).  I felt truly blessed to be in a position where our jobs are basically recession proof, both can qualify for overtime to pay for those expenses, we have a wonderful son who makes all of life more enjoyable and although we are trying to sell our house it’s still a good house, in a good location that we can afford.  (and I’m keeping this attitude even though since then we’re going to have to replace this car and go into debt for it).
I hope that this year I’m living a life that’s more pleasing to God than the last.  I’ve made some “resolutions” of how to live along the lines of New Year’s resolutions and I hope that they stick.  I’m trying to put my good ideas/intentions into action, take some time for me, stand up for myself more, try not to care TOO much what others’ think, enjoy the day at hand.And I look forward to the next 30 (and hopefully longer) years of growth, life and fun, while glorifying God all the while.

-Deanna

Change/Growth…..Supporting a Mission

My alma mater changed its name 10 days ago.  When I first heard the announcement of the move and change, I was a little ruffled.  However that day I had the opportunity to have dinner with a trustee and an adjunct professor/soon-to-be-ft-professor and loved what I heard.  The following day I was given the opportunity to hear the president, Dean Collins, speak about the changes. Since then I’ve been excited to see Atlanta Christian College become Point University (although I don’t like the sound of P.U.). It’s traditional residential campus is moving to where my parents live has excited me as well, because they need the boost and ACC/PU can grow freely in West Point. 

I think I don’t like change very much, but I do like to see growth happen and this is how I look at the changes to ACC.  I’ve seen a lot of growth on campus there through my sisters’ experiences since I graduated and at times have almost been jealous of their experience and the sense of community that has happened.  I’ve seen one and soon-to-be another adult while working full time be able to complete their degrees with a Christian education, which would not have happened without the development and growth of the nontraditional program since I graduated in ‘03.  I’ve been excited about it all. 

The one thing I didn’t anticipate is what I’ve seen on Facebook this past week on the alumni page.  Now, I do think that the Point University Alumni Facebook Page should be a “ACC/PU Alumni” group, but people are not just outraged about that.  And it does feel as though they are outraged because the word Christian has been dropped from the name as well as the direction of the college changing.  One person even went on to say they or their church don’t agree with the mission of the school anymore.  I’m very perplexed by this because I am encouraged by the changes and growth happening, the ability to reach more people, etc, etc.  So, I went to the website and looked up the mission and here it is:

Mission

The mission of Point University is to educate students for Christ-centered service and leadership throughout the world.

 

Vision

Point University will be the college of choice for students seeking a Christian learning community that is academically challenging, spiritually vibrant and globally engaged.

Core Values

Christ-centered… focused on the needs of the church.
Kingdom-focused… preparing students to direct their personal and professional energies toward impacting the world for Christ.
Personal responsibility and growth… encouraging students to live productive and fruitful lives.
Transforming community… maintaining a positive, affirming climate on campus that encourages personal and collective growth and improvement.
Integrity in the strategic stewardship of resources… establishing a clear culture of accountability and transparency in all dealings.
Global vision for ministry… preparing students for a culturally diverse and interconnected church and world.
Service to community… dedicated to modeling individual and institutional service to the communities in which we serve.

How as a Christian can you argue with these points?  It is my understanding that every student will still be required to have at least a minor in Bible taught by many of the same professors I had and the new professor is one I attended college with (at ACC) and go to church with now.  Many people on the group’s page were concerned about why the name was changed and had other questions, that I’ve found answers to on the school’s website.  Which raises a trend in our society that troubles me.  We go to social media sites to gain our information instead of the source.  It has been very clear in the past months by publications on the school’s website of what is going to happen and why.  Then why are were searching for answers from others that are not a part of the growth process.

Maybe I’m just naïve and think what I hear from people involved in this process and making the decisions are saying what they really mean.  I do have to say, though, I’m still pleased and excited about the changes and growth that, I believe, are going to facilitate many more students educated from a Christ-centered approach than if this change hadn’t occurred.  Just my two cents, but if you want to hear more, please visit here and not solely rely on people not actively involved in this process.

 

-Deanna

Conflict and a Confession

What is a peacemaker? How do you peace with someone when you don’t know why there’s not peace?


I’ve been met with this dilemma for a while and inwardly been torn over how this is to be resolved. I’m not sure why this has happened. There was a conflict but I thought it was resolved and never thought that months later there would still be a rift or at least a perceived rift. I hate the idea of conflict and I hate the resolution process, but usually try to take it head on in order to work through it so as not to prolong it. This time I’ve felt that I was not in a position to confront it, but nevertheless have tried to work at every almost every encounter to be peaceful. I was feeling okay (not great) with how things were going until recently. Last weekend at church our Sunday School lesson was from Philippians 4. Now I usually don’t pay a whole lot of attention to the final salutations in letters and when it was first read in class I didn’t listen with intent. However the one part of salutations was all we were going to focus on, so I was forced to hear what it said. “I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with ...whose names are in the book of life.” So whoever Euodia and Syntyche were, they had such a conflict that they are being called out in front of the whole church at Philippi to resolve their conflict and others are being asked to step in. We discussed that it seems pride usually stands in our way from resolving conflict that goes on and so have felt compelled to examine myself in order to see if pride is getting in my way.
 
Now here’s where I will confess, I have recently started watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey (New York and Orange County). I have become very uncomfortable with New Jersey and am not watching it as dedicatedly as I would because of the rift between two family members and how nasty it has become. The season opener was just horrible. They were at a christening and a huge incident broke out stemming from the relationship between one of the housewives and her brother. I have watched one of the other episodes and it seems that pride is definitely getting in their way as neither one wants to really examine the cause and solely focuses on the other person. Now back to my reality, my situation is far from what is happening on this TV show and it is just a TV show, but it has caused me to really examine myself in my situation and I just want peace. And I mean restorative peace; the type of peace where everything is in harmony as God would have for his children. I’m not sure where to go from here. So do I continue to try and let time heal the rift? Or do I confront it? Or something else? Chad and I have discussed this at length and are not in agreement or at peace as to what should be done, so is the result: to do nothing? It seems almost silly at this point, but I’m really not sure where to go with it all. I guess the answer is to just continually seek God (because I certainly don’t want “reality TV” and TV ratings to assist me in resolving conflict). So until we feel compelled to action then stand still. I’m not really happy with that conclusion because I want it all to be over with, but even more I don’t want to run from the problem.

Potty Training

My plan, because I always have a plan, was to give Steven exposure to potty training during our beach trip with the family specifically my nephew Ace.  Then the following week take a full week not going anywhere to go.  Well, my plan didn’t work out as planned, but not surprisingly!

This is how it started in sepia (see-pee-a).  This was actually controversial on my sister’s facebook, was reported, and removed! Steven and Ace truly became buddies and Steven began to think peeing in the bushes was cool.  According to John Rosemond you should just tell them that such is what they will do now, so I tried that with the peeing.  Everytime he peed in the bushes I’d tell him that he’d be peeing in the potty when we got home.  He’d so Okay, but I never thought it would go that smoothly!

It sort of did.  After a week he still hasn’t done #2 in the potty, but at least he’s not holding it in for days at a time :).  He tends to only have accidents when it’s time to do#2 as well, so on days he doesn’t go #2 then he has no accidents!!!  WOohooo!!!  Here’s some highlights from our journey this past week and just a few other cute ones :)

He loves to flush the toilet as long as it’s not a public one!

He’s just too cute in those little “big boy underwears”

The storms last week created quite a mess, so Steven had to have gloves like mommy to help with the yard work.

Everything is about shooting these days….Shooting the pool

WATCH OUT!!!…..A purse for a taser

My concession to Chad a few years ago was that since I was not willing to carry a gun I would carry a taser.  The problem is it’s not easily concealed even in a purse. Once I made a slot in one of my purses, but it really wasn’t what I wanted.  I ended up not carrying it much at all. Recently I decided it would probably be good to carry it again and I want to not carry a diaper bag since we’re potty training (another post on that real soon).  My solution was:

Sketching and fabric

Inside pouches include: on the top right hand is a pouch with several individual mini slots for pens, keys, sunglasses, blackberry, and one for snacks for Steven. On the bottom right is a pouch that will fit a diaper changing pad or changes of clothes for Steven, etc.  On the top left is a slot with a magnetic clasp for my wallet. On the bottom far left is the slot for my taser. It also has a magnetic snap. The other slot which overlaps’ stitching creates a place for the taser “barrel.” The overlapping slot was designed to have first aid supplies in it.  Eventually the center portion will have a camera portion like seen here.

Here’s the finished product, which I wasn’t satisfied with, so I added these handmade rosettes. I only added the pearls to a few because I liked the effect.

So here’s the final, final product and besides being extremely heavy with everything in it it’s great!  It does cut down on having to have two bags, so it is perfect.  Better watch out and not piss me off or you might get tased!

Not so connected

I’m not sure what it is about me; maybe I sabotage myself in the arena of feeling connected, but I definitely have a chronic feeling of not feeling connected.  It’s one reason I sit on Facebook so much but then hate that because I feel it is a false sense of connectedness.  I can know about people, they can know about me, but have absolutely no idea who I really am or what is really going on in life.  On Facebook you can choose what you reveal and not reveal about yourself.  The other thing about Facebook I don’t like and almost detest is seeing how others seem more connected with each other than I feel with those same people almost to the point of feeling rejected by them.  In moments of weakness I’ve almost deleted people just because of this apparent feeling.   
I think this feeling is exacerbated in life because we live away from the friends that we’d like to be closer to. But I’m all about not waiting for the perfect opportunity to make it work, because situations in life are not the solutions; it’s what you make of your life. 

I also don’t necessarily always feel as connected to my husband as in the past.  Our marriage is good, it’s just not as easy to be focused on one another as it was before Steven was here. Surprise, surprise!! I’ve heard so many great things about John Rosemond from a variety of people, so we started reading a couple of his books.  It’s totally changed my life.  Maybe I was just looking for the opportunity to give me a bit more freedom, but I read in his book what is giving me freedom and I see a change in Steven that is wonderful.  He’s been a wonderful son, almost perfect.  A few months ago his thumb sucking started including a finger up his nose and whenever I’d try to get him to stop and he’d take a finger from both hands and stick them up each nostril.  I figured I’d just let it go, but occasionally would try to get him to stop.  Well, I’m not sure what and I’m not giving John Rosemond’s teachings full credit but it all happened at the right time and now when I ask him to take his finger out of his nose he does!  Small, I know, but it’s an example of how his obstinance is diminishing.  One of the core of his teachings is to bring the marriage into the center of the familial relationship. I’ve been feeling bad for taking time to myself and this was exactly what I needed to hear. I’m not waiting until Steven goes to bed to get things done.  I’m trying to make sure he gets adequate time, but not too much time or demanding to much attention.  It’s also giving me the freedom to do some stuff for myself and then when Chad is home to be more focused on us.  I’m really happy with this change. 

I’ve also been thinking that is it really important to be connected to lots of people while raising a family.  I do think friendships are vital, but while working, raising a family, and trying to maintain marriage as a priority it seems to be the quantity of relationships outside family needs to be put on a back burner.  Your priorities definitely shift once you have kids and I fought some of the shifts, but I’m at the point where maybe it will be the best thing to embrace them. However I’m not really feeling that my life is what all I want it to be.  I know life is what you make of it, but something is missing and I’m not really sure what it is.  I think this is where the disconnected feeling comes from because I’m searching so much for something. I’m just not really certain what it is.  I’m wanting to feel connected, but not sure what it will be to. 

The extension of God's grace

I really don't like to talk politics publicly.  I have weird viewpoints that don't always mesh together.  You know, being married to a law enforcement officer it sometimes skews your perspective on things.  But I thought I'd share these thoughts and hope that I don't offend anyone in the process.  I really like listening to Neal Boortz.  Not necessarily because I agree with everything he says, but rather I recognize he talks in the extremes and it challenges my thinking, so maybe if you don't agree with my thoughts you'll at least think.

Sunday night at first I was annoyed when I saw the interruption of regular programming for a special announcement.  I figured it was something about a birth certificate or certificate of live birth or whatever that whole squabble is about. :)  When I heard the announcement a huge sense of relief and peace came over me.  Now I don't glory in death, but I found a sense of satisfaction that this happened.  I believe that he caused so many deaths in his life that for him to die was justice.  He also "resisted" and this would warrant the same outcome had it been with local law enforcement in the US even if it was in response to a lesser crime.

I've seen that some Christians are having e a hard time with the rejoicing over a killing.  I'm not sure that I feel rejoicing is in order, but I wasn't directly affected by any of his crimes either.  Him being killed in this manner rather than going through a trial and capital punishment only lessened the potential risk on the rest of the world during what would have been his trial.  Would he have had the chance to repentant and follow Christ during that process? I don't know. I've pondered before the idea that God could extend his grace to anyone and everyone he chooses.  Now I'm not coming from a pluralistic standpoint, but I wonder at times if the isolated woman who was devout to what she knows, has only known and only belief that she has been given the opportunity to know would end up in heaven.  My mind can't wrap around the thought that God could not extend his Grace to those people.  I don't really like speculating about it much but he is a powerful God and can do whatever. So through this line of thinking he could choose to save Osama Bin Laden if he so chooses.  In some ways I don't like that thought, but he is one of God's creations, right?  That's such a peculiar thought.  It doesn't change that I'm glad he's gone.  I think he didn't think of others.  I heard a police officer who was involved in rescues on 9/11 speaking of how arrogant Bin Laden was and only thought of himself, so I'm not sure any amount of time would have him humbled enough to bring him to a relationship with Christ, but again God is all powerful and can do whatever he chooses.  But then I thought of the fact that some people that he killed were sent to hell that day on 9/11. Could/would/should/did God extend his grace to those victims? Or what about those killed in the recent tsunami's, tornados, casualties of crime? There's so much pain in this world but it pains me more to see that some people experience even more pain when they leave this world. 
I'm not celebrating he's gone, but I sure am glad he is.

The new dog

I've struggled and still feel the loss of our Stout. The feeling of guilt has been perpetuated because I had already been thinking of getting another dog for Steven's birthday, but didn't want to have three dogs.  Well, the feeling has been intensified because we did get another dog just a week after we lost Stout.  We feel like he kinda crashed in.

On March 18, Chad received a call to a scene where a car had crashed into a fence.  That afternoon he had to go back to the fence owner's residence so that he could talk about the damaged fence.  While there he saw several dogs and one looked exactly like Stout.  Somehow the conversation then led to Stout.  The man then said that one of the dogs was a foster dog for the humane society.  So then I got a call from Chad about the dog....well, I just couldn't say no. 

We "tried" him out for the weekend and were set.

Gustav, who had not been eating well, quickly perked up and the first night the new dog was home we didn't even really get a chance to play with him for Gustav playing so hard with him.

He's a black lab, possibly mixed with something but we're not sure what.  We name the new dog, Crash and he has quickly become part of the family.  These days if you ask Steven about Stout, or if you're me and say Stout instead of one of the other dog's name, he quickly will tell you Stout's at Jesus.  I kind of like that he say sat instead of with because I do hope that when we go to heaven we are at Jesus' feet basking in his glory. 

Control Freak

So I may not be a full blown control freak, but I plan and attempt to control a lot.  Mostly by planning things out.  Tonight I was talking with a friend about what they did in planning or not planning for having children.  She said they didn't really plan or not plan just allowed things to happen.  I'm envious of that ability for lack of control; even if it does have it's downside.  I try to follow God's leading, but know that I'm a Type A personality and just tend to step in and do whenever/wherever I see a need.  This all has started with the obvious contemplation of when we'll have another child.  I say I try follow God's leading, but I tend to over think things.  I've heard of people planning to the point of being off for certain times at work they'd never get otherwise, when's the most convenient or workable time for their family and I've considered these types of things.(you can even start to hear me become a little frantic in my thinking at this point) I even thought that maybe a certain time would be the greatest for us, but then I think would I be disappointed if it didn't work out in the exact timing I had planned or maybe it would be more difficult getting pregnant than anticipated and would that really mess up my schedule. And in all the planning and thinking I STOP and realize I'm thinking/planning a whole lot of me, mine, I  and forgetting that I'm supposed to be following God's lead. 

And this is just me planning our next child. Can you imagine what everyday life is like?  I'm kinda tired of it. There is a part of my life that I'm free.  I try to be flexible and fun in parenting Steven. I think it would help to be more free spirited in our marriage.  We plan so much that sometimes we forget to live.  We're working on doing more fun things as a family. 

I just can't seem to get over the need to control and think I'm doing well and maybe that's when I start taking things into my own hands again.  I do think that a lot of times it's not a matter of not trusting God, because I know that he will work things out in his timing in his way. But I do think that we're entrusted with a life that we should life for Christ and maybe that's why controlling to make sure we live it in the way that is pleasing to him.  But at what point do we rest in knowing that we're doing what is pleasing to God and stop over thinking every step of life. 

Truth, Perspectives and Peace

I get a lot of my inspiration for posts from sermons at church.  We have two great preachers who I feel are open to God's leading and even if it isn't apparent or relevant to their topic, something they say usually spurs a blogpost.  So if you're ever interested in listening to some great ones, you can listen here.

There is truth in matters and then there are perspectives.  The truth is the 9/11 wasn't a government conspiracy, the holocaust did happen, and men have walked on the moon.  The truth is the Jesus did die on the cross for us and rise again.

Last summer I had a conflict with someone I worked with.  We were both transitioning...she into a job at our office and I to part time.  We both had a way we saw this would happen, but it wasn't necessarily how the other saw it as happening.  I had created most of the processes for doing everything on the business side of things and I felt a lot of ownership over the business.  To say it was a difficult transition for me to let go of some things is putting it mild.  And with me not being in the office, things just had to be done whether they were the right way or not.  Now I know I sound really controlling and I am in some aspects, but some crucial mistakes were made because of this.  We deal with very sensitive information and fragile people.  Now this is my perspective, her's maybe different. Well, we both thought the other was being ridiculous for being upset. However we both needed each other to be there in the capacity that we were for different reasons.  It took a little while to feel good and at peace with the other person, but we were both determined to make peace because working in an office together as we do mandates it. 

Chad and I in our marriage are the same way in that we feel it is essential to make peace even when we disagree.  Making peace may not happen as quickly as we would like, but most of the time it means having hard discussions and working through things together whether we are actually feeling it or not.  Sometimes it's acting like it's peaceful even when we don't feel it and the feelings catch up.

In John 9 there is a story of a man who was blind from birth and Jesus healed.  The Pharisees were in such disbelief they accused the man of faking his entire life for not being the same person who was blind. They even questioned the man's parents.  I wonder how blinded I may be at times.  I often thought that if Jesus came today I would be a Pharisee and not see Jesus for who he is.  I hope not, especially with the miracles so apparent that he performed. 

At what cost do we make peace with people?  Is our perspective worth being crucified over?  Jesus was crucified for us and I don't think that anything that I encounter would come close to being crucified over. I think it would be the same for most Christians in the USA, but I think sometimes we choose our will over peace because we lose sight that it is our perspective we see and not necessarily the truth. 

So on this Good Friday, I'm going to make a resolution to appreciate the cross more and work to achieve peace at almost any cost.  Conflict, drama, etc is just not worth it.

Ever changing...

As much as I hate change, I hope that I never stop changing ever more.  I feel if I'm not changing in actions, then it proves inwardly I'm not changing and thus not being open to God's voice in my life.  I think at times its cliche to say oh that's God's voice, but I do believe that you can hear God's direction for your life and follow it.  I just know that although I never seem to anticipate what God's going to be doing prior to, its always nice to see the outcome of what he's done.

It was around this time last year that I took a step back at work, pursued some other things, but after this year it is time for me to take a step forward at work and while I'll still be part time it will be halfway between where I am now and full time.  With Steven being older we think it is a good move because of how social he is and loves to be with others.  I've found a renewed sense of satisfaction in my work and have worked through difficult situations which have made me stronger.  I'm excited for the change even if it means other harder decisions have had to be made.  I don't like the change, but I do like what the other side of change looks like on me. 

Caterpillar hunting

Steven went caterpillar hunting this afternoon.  We found an area with more than 15 caterpillars and he had a ball.....

Ms. Suzie Homemaker

I used to imagine my life as an adult being a stay at home wife and mother, which would entail sewing, baking homemade bread, crafting, etc, etc.  My life looks quite different these days, but this weekend I managed to get a batch of bread done.  I was telling a friend and she stared in disbelief.....

I actually milled the wheat? Yep, that's me!

But I don't break a sweat doing it :)

The recipe is quite well-worn

I have this great mixer that makes it SO easy!

Steven got into the action and took time for a quick cheesy smile

Instead of large loaves, I tried a smaller sandwhich type roll, which didn't come out exactly the shape I wanted, but oh so good!

There is no condemnation.....

Recently I heard a sermon on Romans 8, therefore there is no condemnation ......I think I fall short many times not really living out sharing the no condemnation.  I don't like to think that someone, for the most part, would be condemned, but I'm not sure that I live my life thinking that if I don't share Jesus that person may be condemned. 

On this particular Sunday, I was coming into the service late having led worship for the preschoolers. In the hallway I spoke with two individuals who were talking about a young boy who had "caused a stir" in the service.  He was walking around the sanctuary during worship and finally someone took him to talk with him.  He had said it was his birthday and his friend at church told him he would give him $5.  I knew exactly who the kid was.  It was Shemar.  Shemar has shown up at church a few times the first being Christmas Eve.  I've seen him on a couple of occasions.  He walks from his apartment a few miles away.  He's in his early teens, not well dressed and I think would be classified as "special education."  When he came back in he sat up front with a direct view of the minister.  The sermon was Romans 8....don't wait to show no condemnation to others.  After the service as I was getting into my car here comes the minister with his two daughters and Shemar.  He was giving Shemar a ride home.  And I think in that moment Shemar was shown what not being condemned would maybe feel like.  Now I may be romanticising this a bit, but I hope and pray that he at least feels that our church is a place where he can experience Jesus' love. 

I keep thinking what's a way I can show no condemnation to someone who crosses my path.  I'm not sure what the answer is and then I get really busy with life and forget to even think about it.  I think the business is the problem for me.  Why do I not stop to actually think through the eternal matters? Why do I get more caught up with getting through the day to day? Where we're going to move? What and if a children's ministry job will come my way? And I think that's the problem. I get too focused on the earthly things and anything can no matter how Christian it may be.  However I hope that nothing eternal will become earthly. I hope that the bigger kingdom perspective will matter.  Sometimes I'm not too sure how that will look, but I'm hoping I can figure it out a little bit.

Having Babies, Part 2

Back in August I blogged about why we have babies. I may have discovered the answer...at least for us. This past Friday we took Steven to Chad's co-worker's "farm."

Steven having a conversation with the dog about getting on the horse before he would get on the horse.

Chad riding a horse for the first time

Talking to the donkey

And I am getting somewhere with this...

Steven running down the hill from the donkeys to tell Joe.  He ran saying "Joe! Joe!"

And then it was somewhere along here that Chad was expressing to Joe how grateful we were that he allowed Steven to come and see the animals. And Joe's response answered my question to why we have babies. He said that he enjoyed Steven coming more than Steven enjoyed it.  That's it!  Steven brings joy to the world.  I think he is a testimony to God's love and sharing Jesus to others even in his own way.  He makes me realize more and more how much we should strive to be like Jesus.  He doesn't think twice about asking to sing Jesus Loves Me in the middle of the store or ask to pray before we eat wherever we are.  He shows a level of living life to the fullest that sometimes I forget and I know the story of our Saviour.  So in a nutshell, I believe we should having children because they share Christ with others like we cannot.  Now I'm not saying Joe doesn't know Jesus because I think he does. I'm not saying Steven could share the gospel in its entirety, but who can?  He does share Jesus' love with anyone and everyone whether they choose to listen or not in his own unique way.  He brings joy like no other can and hopefully one day we will have more children that can share Jesus' love like he does. 

And to share a little more of his joy, here's so more pictures and a few videos from our visit to the farm....

Towards the end he got a little brave

And rode the horse by himself

But not for too long

And to this movie Steven said "Steven's a mess".....

Goodbye Lil' Stout

Yesterday I saw that a friend was going to have to put their dog down because of kidney failure.  I emailed her that I could not imagine what she was going through and little did I know about 12 hours later we would be doing the same thing.  We have had two wonderful dogs; first came Gustav, our beloved German Shepherd in 2004 and in 2006 we decided that he needed a playmate and a playmate is what he got.  We "rescued" a spaniel/lab mixed puppy.  We name him Guinness Stout, called him Stout, because he looked so dark brown that at times it appeared black and had a nice white "foamy" patch on his neck. 

He's been the happiest dog I think I've ever encountered and he brought so much joy to our lives. Some of our greatest memories I think will be recent as Steven had grown so fond of Stout.  One of Steven's favorite things to do was to chase Stout around the house with a duck puppet saying "quack, quack." 

This morning around 3:30 we heard him distressed, so I got up to see what was the matter.  After a few minutes I realized he couldn't get up and was paralyzed in his hind quarters.  Chad and I spent the next several hours comforting our sweet Stout knowing what was probably to come.  He was so loving and just wanted us there with him.  When Steven woke up and we told him Stout was hurt he said, "oh no, Stout hurt, give him some chocolate milk!"  He was so sweet in petting him and knew it wasn't the time to try and chase Stout.  He even brought pieces of food over to Stout and said "here you go, thank you, you're welcome" as if he was carrying on a full conversation with Stout.  After many tears, Chad took him to the vet and they confirmed that even if we spent thousands of dollars there was no guarantee of any improvement. 

The house is very somber without our precious Stout and it'll be a while before Steven quits calling him to come and "get yours Stout" when its feeding time; or telling him to get out of the living room; and every time he does it breaks my heart because Stout isn't in there to be told to get out. 

Steven making pizza

The other night I decided to let Steven help me make pizza.  He thoroughly enjoyed himself.

getting a little taste

kneeding the dough

another taste

Learning the art of rolling the dough

eating and spreading the cheese

all done!!!

The next few pictures have nothing to do with pizza

 

Steven and I had the privilege to attend a surprise party for Laura, on of my friend's since preschool.  It doubled as a baby shower because little William will be born in less than a month.  The cupcakes were topped  with pacifiers and Steven has been obssessed with kisses and pacis these days. 

Chad was getting ready to go to the range and Steven wanted to wear the hat too!

He decided to climb out of his bed and nap this way the other day.  We didn't get a picture, but a few days later he slept standing up bent over on the ottoman in his bedroom!

We're enjoying life together these days very much.