Control Freak

So I may not be a full blown control freak, but I plan and attempt to control a lot.  Mostly by planning things out.  Tonight I was talking with a friend about what they did in planning or not planning for having children.  She said they didn't really plan or not plan just allowed things to happen.  I'm envious of that ability for lack of control; even if it does have it's downside.  I try to follow God's leading, but know that I'm a Type A personality and just tend to step in and do whenever/wherever I see a need.  This all has started with the obvious contemplation of when we'll have another child.  I say I try follow God's leading, but I tend to over think things.  I've heard of people planning to the point of being off for certain times at work they'd never get otherwise, when's the most convenient or workable time for their family and I've considered these types of things.(you can even start to hear me become a little frantic in my thinking at this point) I even thought that maybe a certain time would be the greatest for us, but then I think would I be disappointed if it didn't work out in the exact timing I had planned or maybe it would be more difficult getting pregnant than anticipated and would that really mess up my schedule. And in all the planning and thinking I STOP and realize I'm thinking/planning a whole lot of me, mine, I  and forgetting that I'm supposed to be following God's lead. 

And this is just me planning our next child. Can you imagine what everyday life is like?  I'm kinda tired of it. There is a part of my life that I'm free.  I try to be flexible and fun in parenting Steven. I think it would help to be more free spirited in our marriage.  We plan so much that sometimes we forget to live.  We're working on doing more fun things as a family. 

I just can't seem to get over the need to control and think I'm doing well and maybe that's when I start taking things into my own hands again.  I do think that a lot of times it's not a matter of not trusting God, because I know that he will work things out in his timing in his way. But I do think that we're entrusted with a life that we should life for Christ and maybe that's why controlling to make sure we live it in the way that is pleasing to him.  But at what point do we rest in knowing that we're doing what is pleasing to God and stop over thinking every step of life.