Conflict and a Confession

What is a peacemaker? How do you peace with someone when you don’t know why there’s not peace?


I’ve been met with this dilemma for a while and inwardly been torn over how this is to be resolved. I’m not sure why this has happened. There was a conflict but I thought it was resolved and never thought that months later there would still be a rift or at least a perceived rift. I hate the idea of conflict and I hate the resolution process, but usually try to take it head on in order to work through it so as not to prolong it. This time I’ve felt that I was not in a position to confront it, but nevertheless have tried to work at every almost every encounter to be peaceful. I was feeling okay (not great) with how things were going until recently. Last weekend at church our Sunday School lesson was from Philippians 4. Now I usually don’t pay a whole lot of attention to the final salutations in letters and when it was first read in class I didn’t listen with intent. However the one part of salutations was all we were going to focus on, so I was forced to hear what it said. “I plead with Euodia and I plead with Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. Yes, and I ask you, my true companion, help these women since they have contended at my side in the cause of the gospel, along with ...whose names are in the book of life.” So whoever Euodia and Syntyche were, they had such a conflict that they are being called out in front of the whole church at Philippi to resolve their conflict and others are being asked to step in. We discussed that it seems pride usually stands in our way from resolving conflict that goes on and so have felt compelled to examine myself in order to see if pride is getting in my way.
 
Now here’s where I will confess, I have recently started watching The Real Housewives of New Jersey (New York and Orange County). I have become very uncomfortable with New Jersey and am not watching it as dedicatedly as I would because of the rift between two family members and how nasty it has become. The season opener was just horrible. They were at a christening and a huge incident broke out stemming from the relationship between one of the housewives and her brother. I have watched one of the other episodes and it seems that pride is definitely getting in their way as neither one wants to really examine the cause and solely focuses on the other person. Now back to my reality, my situation is far from what is happening on this TV show and it is just a TV show, but it has caused me to really examine myself in my situation and I just want peace. And I mean restorative peace; the type of peace where everything is in harmony as God would have for his children. I’m not sure where to go from here. So do I continue to try and let time heal the rift? Or do I confront it? Or something else? Chad and I have discussed this at length and are not in agreement or at peace as to what should be done, so is the result: to do nothing? It seems almost silly at this point, but I’m really not sure where to go with it all. I guess the answer is to just continually seek God (because I certainly don’t want “reality TV” and TV ratings to assist me in resolving conflict). So until we feel compelled to action then stand still. I’m not really happy with that conclusion because I want it all to be over with, but even more I don’t want to run from the problem.