Celebration of life

Tomorrow is a day I usually love; the day we celebrate me coming into the world.  I've been hesitant about it all year, but then Chad asked me what I wanted to do for it this weekend, where did I want to go eat, etc. (My present, my new camera, was bought prior to our vacation so no present this week) I was shocked that tomorrow is finally here. You see, I'll be 29. The last year in my twenties. Two weeks ago I got highlights to help "blend' the gray hairs. I've started thinking older too. I've always been responsible, but there's things of which I can't remember right now (another symptom? Haha j/k) that just sound old!

I also have mixed feelings about my weight loss.  I didn't reach my goal as I had planned by tomorrow. However, I am in the size clothes that I had anticipated being in at this time.  I'm 1 1/2 pounds above the top of my acceptable weight range; 6 1/2 pounds away from my WW goals; and 11 1/2 pounds away from my "dream" weight.  I have lost 15 pounds since March 27th of which I'm proud, just disappointed I didn't make the other. 

Today at church we were discussing "wandering" in our Christian lives, which then went on to talking about talking about Christ/Christianity at work and how would you do it without being at a Christian workplace.  As I was sitting there, I realized I don't talk about Christ, my walk with the Lord, etc with those in our extended family. Saturday I had a conversation with some family members, which could have very appropriately surrounded about my walk, but didn't. So tonight we were at the in-laws and I stated something and my brother-in-law asked me if I felt that was God's leading for my life. Now he has at minimal stopped wandering recently and I was really taken aback by it, but of course I answered and talked a bit about it. After dinner I felt I had gathered my thoughts better and talked with his soon-to-be-wife (six days) in depth about my decisions and my walk and how that all tied together.  So I "passed" my first test! HAHA!, but seriously it is something to think about. 
Also along these lines I began thinking about the atheist. Back to church this morning. I thought about maybe his talking and trying to push me may be him seeking, searching, wanting more of a life with God, but just doesn't know it. So, I'm going to try and not be silent and passive this week with him. I'm going to speak up when he starts on the bizarre things with religion.  If it becomes a problem, then I'll deal with it, but I'm definitely not going to be accused of shying away. 

I am SO thankful to have my supportive extended family a part of my life; my absolutely adorable son; and my incredible, studly and godly husband in my life!

So, maybe I'll start this 29th year of life on a more positive note. Things are happening with the McDonalds and more will be shared later. Bottom line: God's working A LOT! and pushing us A LOT! So much I'm reserved and almost speechless about it at times :) !!!

Mourning the loss of a friend

...but not to death or a physical move. I'm actually not sure what kind of move, but it is no longer. I'm not sure what happened.  It is not so gone that in my book could not be rekindled.  I miss her. We went through som etough times together and i've missed her missing out this year on one of the most eventful years of my life. She doesn't know my son, which is just a crying shame. I miss sharing in the joy of her life as well; living vicariously throuh her at times seemingly carefree adventurous life. I miss the intense emotions. I miss crying, laughing, and loving together. I've spent many a counseling sessions speaking of this and had finally come to terms with our lives just heading in different ways, but in the past two weeks, I've been missing her. I miss not being there for her right now as she goes through something difficult; not knowing what exactly it is but not for the juice info, just to help carry that burden with her. 

Seriously

So this week I've realized I'm really negative right now. I'm not so happy about that, which makes me even more negative about myself.  I know that there's positive sides to everything, but goodness sometimes it's just hard to look at it that way.  I think I really just take life too seriously sometimes. My new "assistant" is helping me laugh more; sometimes I think that's all we do at the office. 
We have this guy in the office who's an atheist and so whenever he does something annoying she started saying, "You know why? because he's an atheist." To things that obviously have nothing to do with that, but even still.  Like yesterday. He started in on how women are not emotional; they're illogical and irrational. Now mind you he's talking to two women. It wasn't the day I really needed it, because earlier my boss queried me on why I bought a box of rubberbands. Seriously. Not sure what that was all about, but I'm laughing and annoyed by it. So back to the atheist.  I told him he might want to stop at that point because it wasn't a day I wanted hear it. Normal guys would stop, but he didn't. I said I don't like generalizations. His response? "Schizophrenics don't like generalizations either, but they fit the generalizations." SERIOUSLY!?!?! My assistant then said something about all guys being stupid. He still kept going on about women.  He finally got diverted, but seriously it's because he's an atheist that he's so stupid.
You know he's going as a crucified Jesus to a costume party tonight? Bloody hands and all. Seriously?! And showed me the picture of how he's done it before.  He likes to bring up things trying to get me mad sometimes like bringing up how he's been reading the Bible, apocryphal literature, and other noncanonical writings because he needs to know what he's fighting against. he brings up the bizarre stuff and tries to get me to be enraged about it. I don't bite, but then I got to thinking about it. Am I running from an opportunity to witness, plant a seed, etc?  I've always thought that since I don't react to his "nonsense" that I'm showing a different type of Christianity, but then again I could just be giving excuses.  I've got to spend some more time thinking about this one, but I would say he's really got no clue about so much. I just hope he gets a clue before he burns in hell. Seriously.

Ten Things I know about my job

Ten Things about my job:


1. I know when most clients want follow-up appointments.

2. I know by the week of the month who’s coming in for therapy (for the most part).

3. I know most client’s by voice over the phone before they identify themselves; even when they don’t come in frequently.

4. I know some clients’ phone numbers by memory and don’t know my husband’s cell phone.

5. I typically know everyone’s copay

6. I typically know what the balance of everyone’s account.

7. I know what my boss is most likely going to ask me to do before he asks it.

8. I know what’s coming next in dictation files before it plays.

9. I can tell what my boss is doing in his office (dictating, therapy, personal call, personal “intense” call, etc) by the voice intonations coming through the wall. During his divorce, I even knew who he was talking to on the phone by the vocal intonations.

10. Although I have no clinical experience or training, clinicians ask my clinical opinion.

Freakin out just a little. So the closer I get to July 1, the more I start freaking out. There's so much uncertainty as to whether or not things will come together as we hope. Mainly my concern is the finances. They've delayed Chad's assignment to the task force again but he is supposed to start next week. I'm not holding my breath. We're still waiting to see it in writing.  I think once we see how much he is actually working, it'll help with the finance part. Although we have paid off one more piece of debt and we could pay less on expenses but are doing the debt snowball, so are going to try and maintain the same amount going to debt.

However there is the entire other element of me searching for another part time job.  I know now's not the time to be searching for a job, but I'm going to be, I think. Maybe even if it's not regular, just an option. 

I've also decided I'm going to try and become a "coupon mom." HA! We'll see how that works as we typically don't by brand name stuff anyways and I'm not sure by buying the more expensive brand name even with a coupon will be cheaper, but I'm going to try.

I'm going to start baking bread again because it's healthier (and cheaper), so maybe in a weird way it will prevent us going through another 2 1/2 weeks of cycling sickness. (now that's just me being totally wacko optimistic)

I'm looking forward to having a social life again, hopefully.

I'm looking forward to maybe decluttering my house and following these cleaning guidelines. 

I'm looking forward to easing the household duty load on my husband.

But most of all, I'm looking forward to spending more and more time with Steven.

BUT I'm still REALLY freaking out about all of this.....I hate change. I can't believe that this is change I've chosen for myself, but I have. AAGH!!! I guess I'm just really ready to know what it's going to be like once all the change has happened, but then I'm sure more change is bound to be coming around the corner.

Dipping into the Dave Ramsey emergency fund for Copays..

But no, this post is not about how high copays are or insurance reform or anything of the such (although I do have opinions about those things). This post is about my poor sick, precious little boy who didn't get off the couch more than three times today. It all started two weeks ago. He SCREAMED for quite some time in the nursery one Wednesday night, the next day he took about six hours in naps and we had to wake him up from those. Then on Saturday he was up for 45 min. to 1 hour and then was ready for a nap. So I called our doctor. They didn't call back. I called again. They called back finally, 3 1/2 hours after my first call and after they were closed. So I took him to Kids Time Pediatrics ($60 copay plus medicine), where surprisingly I had a positive experience.  He had an ear infection and possibly strep throat, but the doctor said since we were treating with an antibiotic, we didn't really need to swab for strep. I was fine with that.  Almost immediately on the Amoxicillin was better. The following Saturday he was running a low grade fever and I decided to forego the calling and just went in ($25 and no cost for medicine b/c the doctor gave us samples). Good thing because they changed his antibiotic to Suprax. His icky green nose was somewhat icky, but clear icky :) .  Tuesday he played hard, very hard. He had such a great time. Then Wednesday a.m. he was running a fever, but not high, so I gave him Tylenol and sent him off to Nana's.  Then middle of the afternoon his fever spiked, so I took him in again (so now we're up to three visits total $110). The doctor said it was probably a virus b/c his throat and ears looked "beautiful.' He'll run a fever for the next several days, but as long as it's under 103, he'll be fine. 
I stayed home today because I felt Steven needed it and he did.  He didn't want me to put him down except in his bed for his naps.  He got off the couch 2-3 times all day.  He didn't really eat much either and refused to eat anything His fever decreased and was managed on Tylenol/Ibuprofen, but then around 7:00 I took his temp, an hour after he took his last dose, and it was 103.4. We immediately took him in.  His throat was horribly red and his tonsils had puss pockets on them.  The recommendation: antibiotic shots AND another oral antibiotic.  So, Chad and I had to both hold him down during the shots and he had this horrible "what are you doing" and "help, make  it stop" look on his face, which made me cry during the second shot.  It was horrible. He cried in this high pitch sing songy voice for the next 15-20 minutes and anytime the wonderful nurse who gave him the shot. 
I hope this is that last bit of this episode of sickness, because I'm really over Steven being sick and seriously at this rate, we will be dipping into the emergency fund!

Celebrating 10 lbs!

Sooo, I've been doing Weight Watchers since the last week in March and I'm down 10 lbs (I've actually lost 13, but had gained 3 on vacation).  I don't go to meetings; I do it all online, so it's very convenient.  I've never stuck with something with this much discipline and it's feeling good. This week I'm dedicated more than ever and every meal on the menu is from Weight Watchers. Including tonight, a dessert: Mixed Berry Crumble for 4 points. I'm really excited although I have 10 more pounds to get to Chad's definition of "smokin" and five additional to get to where I'd really like to be. My goal is become a lifetime member; we'll see how it goes.