"The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet." — Frederick Buechner
I love this quote. I heard it quite some time ago. Sometimes I've gotten distracted from what this deep gladness is or maybe it's distracted from the world's deep hunger. Sometimes I wonder where they meet. But I'm on my quest to discover where they will collide for me.
At some point prior to age 7, I was on a radio station program for children on the Toccoa, GA Christian radio station. Now I really don't remember much about this event, I do remember getting the train whistle or maybe it was my brother who got it, but I do remember a train whistle that came from this radio station. Anyways, I went with my Sunday School class taught by Ms. Betty, I believe, and we were all asked on air what we wanted to be when we grew up. When it came my turn, I answered "a mommy." Now I've heard that this is what I answered because my late paternal grandmother was SO proud to hear this. I desired for so long to be a mother and now I am. I think in the past year I've gotten sidetracked from this great accomplishment; maybe because it was so "easy" for me. Now don't get me wrong; I've LOVED Steven with everything in me. However, since going back to work in August almost full-time in the office I haven't stopped and just enjoyed him very much. I guess you could say I have allowed things to distract me from being fully engrossed in being a mother. I guess I allowed providing for my family to get in the way of being a family. Not sure exactly how to articulate that feeling.
Anyways, a few months ago I felt God prompting me to do something. I had been having an inner desire to do something more in life and felt that either God was saying just trust me with this and leap, not necessarily that he wanted me to actually do it. Well, in the process of leaping I got really passionate about that actual thing and not just the process of leaping. So now a few months later the "thing" did not work out exactly as I saw it, but isn't that how God works so much of the time? Well, I can't say that I'm happy that it didn't work out, I'm very far from that. I am trying to see what it is that I need to take from this journey. In this process I decided to go part-time at work. I'm working approx 28 hours per week, but this is freeing me up to be at home more and have more flexibility in my schedule to be a mom. Last week childcare wasn't going to workout as I needed it and I was able to just work a different day. It was nice and relieved a lot of hassle that it normally would have created for me. It's also allowing us to have more time with just the three of us as a family. My deep gladness is my little family, really family in general. These days families have the world working against them. God definitely loves families and I believe He has a desire to see healthy, supportive, strong families. I guess that where it all collides for me. Let's see where it goes from here....
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