I sit here tonight having just put the baby to bed. The living room is decorated for Christmas with a tree, lights, and the new decorations for the year: high chair, exersaucer, almost finished bottle, toys scattered across the floor and a Criminal Procedures book. I never thought these decorations would bring so much joy to my life and sense of contentment. I always knew that a baby would bring joy, but never the elation. Everyday a miracle is seen in the development of the baby in our lives who is quickly “losing his baby face” as a friend said last week. The cliché that people say a baby will show you love more than any other is so true; truer than any other cliché out there.
The Criminal Procedures manual is what is so much more of a surprise in my life; I married an aspiring New Testament/theology professor, not someone who would become a police officer and quickly (not surprising to anyone in his life) rise to the level of narcotics investigator and SWAT member within 1 ½ years. This process through me for a loop, a bigger loop than I had ever experienced before and through it all I learned to accept the changes life has to offer and learn to enjoy them. But I never thought that the baby being born would throw me for even a bigger loop. We were very methodical in how we planned to be flexible, go with the flow, and both took off six weeks to ensure transition to life with a baby would have a sure foundation. However, it didn’t go quite as planned as life never does. I’m learning to make the most of life everyday and cherish every moment we have together.
Striving to be an eternal optimist is benefiting me this Christmas season as my entire family has congregated 14 hours from us; the first Christmas I’m a mom and the first Christmas not to wake up Christmas morning with my family. The decision was made not to join the family months ago, but was even more solidified this week and last as the baby came down with croup followed by a secondary infection. I was sulkingly accepting the reality, but not working on seizing the opportunity to rise above circumstances and enjoy what could be seen as unenjoyable. I did acknowledge that it would probably be easier than I was anticipating; anticipation being the culprit of my dread, so I decided to utilize the “coping mechanisms” I’ve learned over the past few years to make the most. Our Bible study this fall has really revolved around a change in attitude. One night Robin, the leader, was talking about a situation ears ago for her and I could totally relate; she looked at me and caring, but straightforward said “it’s the attitude.” It cut so quickly to my core and has continued to touch me so deep inside. My attitude is in God and my control and with his help I can change it and it will make my life better; so that is what this fall has been about and now this Christmas…changing my attitude to make the most of this blessed Christmas season.
Making the most of this Christmas means: having my husband’s mother, father, and brother over for brunch to see the baby and his new toys and then I’m cooking a huge spread for our family of three. I’ve decided to carry on the tradition my family started with having a trinket (for them an ornament) to commemorate a significant occurrence in each individual life that year. Our child (and to be children) will get a trinket of sort to be attached to their stocking. This idea came to me as we were at friends earlier this week. They had stockings for the mom and dad that had items on it that were significant to their individual life. The trinket of this year for the baby is a small red, sparkling trinket that spells “JOY” because he brings so much joy to our life; more than imaginable and totally worth all the changes that have been brought on this year by his presence. Now I see this Christmas as the most blessed one of my life and am looking forward to sharing the next two days mainly with my family of three.
