Making the Most with my Attitude

I sit here tonight having just put the baby to bed. The living room is decorated for Christmas with a tree, lights, and the new decorations for the year: high chair, exersaucer, almost finished bottle, toys scattered across the floor and a Criminal Procedures book. I never thought these decorations would bring so much joy to my life and sense of contentment. I always knew that a baby would bring joy, but never the elation. Everyday a miracle is seen in the development of the baby in our lives who is quickly “losing his baby face” as a friend said last week. The cliché that people say a baby will show you love more than any other is so true; truer than any other cliché out there.

The Criminal Procedures manual is what is so much more of a surprise in my life; I married an aspiring New Testament/theology professor, not someone who would become a police officer and quickly (not surprising to anyone in his life) rise to the level of narcotics investigator and SWAT member within 1 ½ years. This process through me for a loop, a bigger loop than I had ever experienced before and through it all I learned to accept the changes life has to offer and learn to enjoy them. But I never thought that the baby being born would throw me for even a bigger loop. We were very methodical in how we planned to be flexible, go with the flow, and both took off six weeks to ensure transition to life with a baby would have a sure foundation. However, it didn’t go quite as planned as life never does. I’m learning to make the most of life everyday and cherish every moment we have together.

Striving to be an eternal optimist is benefiting me this Christmas season as my entire family has congregated 14 hours from us; the first Christmas I’m a mom and the first Christmas not to wake up Christmas morning with my family. The decision was made not to join the family months ago, but was even more solidified this week and last as the baby came down with croup followed by a secondary infection. I was sulkingly accepting the reality, but not working on seizing the opportunity to rise above circumstances and enjoy what could be seen as unenjoyable. I did acknowledge that it would probably be easier than I was anticipating; anticipation being the culprit of my dread, so I decided to utilize the “coping mechanisms” I’ve learned over the past few years to make the most. Our Bible study this fall has really revolved around a change in attitude. One night Robin, the leader, was talking about a situation ears ago for her and I could totally relate; she looked at me and caring, but straightforward said “it’s the attitude.” It cut so quickly to my core and has continued to touch me so deep inside. My attitude is in God and my control and with his help I can change it and it will make my life better; so that is what this fall has been about and now this Christmas…changing my attitude to make the most of this blessed Christmas season.



Making the most of this Christmas means: having my husband’s mother, father, and brother over for brunch to see the baby and his new toys and then I’m cooking a huge spread for our family of three. I’ve decided to carry on the tradition my family started with having a trinket (for them an ornament) to commemorate a significant occurrence in each individual life that year. Our child (and to be children) will get a trinket of sort to be attached to their stocking. This idea came to me as we were at friends earlier this week. They had stockings for the mom and dad that had items on it that were significant to their individual life. The trinket of this year for the baby is a small red, sparkling trinket that spells “JOY” because he brings so much joy to our life; more than imaginable and totally worth all the changes that have been brought on this year by his presence. Now I see this Christmas as the most blessed one of my life and am looking forward to sharing the next two days mainly with my family of three.

Steven standing holding on by himself

I was sitting with my back to the around we go and trying to change Steven into pajamas when he reached over and grabbed the around we go. I moved out of the way and he stood there playing and cruising about a foot either way for about 5-10 minutes!

Not good quality but it was the only camera I could find. and yes, he was fine (see end).

Dada #2

For two weeks we couldn't get Steven to stop saying "dada" then he decided he was over saying it. Not sure what that is all about!?!?!

Dada

Steven and his sippy cup

Steven Eating

Sweet Baby Sounds

Steven's first feeding

On Wednesday, March 18, 2009 I started my maternity leave. On Thursday around 6:00 p.m., I woke up from a nap and thought it weird I had only slept an hour. I had usually been sleeping around 3 hours. Around 8:00 p.m. I heard a neighbor knock at the door. When I stood up to answer it, a gush of water came. I wasn’t sure what was going on and since the neighbor saw me, I still answered the door. We talked a few minutes. He then asked when the baby was due and I said in two weeks, but “anytime, anytime.” I called the doctor on call and she said to lie down for 30 minutes and then sit up, if water came out again, then it truly was my water breaking. As I waited, I tried calling Chad. He didn’t answer. I then called Lisa and we talked and laughed (her role in the whole l&d). After 30 minutes I sat up again and more water came and I called the doctor and she said to call Chad and once he got home to come on in to the hospital. I tried to call him again and still no answer, so I called the dispatcher room and they sort of freaked out when they realized what I was calling about.

[insert Chad’s story here]
I finally got a call from Chad and he started home. Lisa was happy b/c she could watch the NCAA Tournament game until half time and then head down. Once she got to the hospital she then finished the game.
Upon arrival around 10 p.m., I was 4 cm. After an hour they finished breaking my water and started the pitocin drip. (11:00 p.m.) Once this started the pain suddenly progressed. I indicated I wanted an epidural and they had to order it, start a bag of fluids…after about 1 ½ hours the epidural and catheter was in and I was very comfortable. Dr. Banks came in to check on me and I was 6 cm. The catheter kept bothering me and they couldn’t adjust it to get it comfortable so checked me again and I was fully dilated (around 2:00 a.m.). He was only at -1 station, so I said I could wait a bit before I started pushing. A period of time went by and Dr. Banks came in and said we were going to do this. As we were setting up, the nurse came in and indicated that Dr. Banks’ patient next door was really feeling the urge to push. The only other ob there was also delivering a baby at that time. I pushed for 30 minutes and he was out, cut the cord and then Dr. Banks had to run next door to deliver the other baby. I waited about 40 minutes before she came back. I was up in the stirrups and unable to hold Steven as he was getting cleaned up. About the time they were giving him to me Dr. Banks came back and said I couldn’t hold him while they stitched me up so I had to wait more. Then about 5:00 a.m. (he was born at 4:03 a.m.) I was able to hold him. He had been rooting quite a bit and latched on for 50 minutes.
Delivery was an amazing experience and quite “easy” comparatively speaking to what I was anticipating. After the delivery I couldn’t sleep all day. I just sat and stared at Steven, listening to his noises. I can’t believe that we are parents even after 12 weeks. Steven has been the greatest baby anyone could have wanted.

35 weeks......